Many managers urge employees to take initiative and be accountable, yet they often continue assigning tasks, micromanaging and providing constant feedback. Leading firms are transitioning to an adult-to-adult approach, empowering employees to take control of their futures. Lara Milward, Coach, Facilitator and Speaker, explores how to get out of the parent-child leadership trap.
In the corporate world, we hear a lot about the virtues of initiative and accountability. Bosses are expected to champion these qualities in their teams, motivating employees to step up, take ownership and confidently lead.
Yet, when it comes to applying the model in real-world settings, many workplaces still operate in ways that stifle these very traits. Tasks are assigned, ‘command and control’ is used more than ‘ask and empower’ and feedback is dispensed thoughtlessly. This creates a dynamic that feels more like a parent-child relationship than a true professional partnership. The leader assumes they ‘know best’. Team members feel like subordinates.
This top-down style of management may ensure short-term control, but it comes at a cost. Employees lose their sense of autonomy, initiative wanes and an invisible wall forms between the hierarchical levels of an organisation. True leadership, however, is about more than control. It’s about enabling others to succeed. This is where my clients and some of the UK’s leading firms are taking a radical yet refreshingly simple approach: transitioning from parent-child interactions to adult-to-adult relationships.
This shift, or as I like to call it, ‘LeaderShift’, is about fostering a culture where leadership isn’t confined to titles or tenure. Instead, it’s a mindset that every team member can adopt, whether a seasoned executive or the newest grad hire. It’s about leading oneself, influencing others positively, taking action and contributing meaningfully to organisational goals. In this framework, everyone is empowered and can lead from their seat, whether it’s at the head of the boardroom or in a shared workspace.
The case for ‘LeaderShift’
Organisations need more than employees who follow orders; they need proactive thinkers and doers who can navigate uncertainty, solve problems creatively and rally others toward a common purpose. LeaderShift is saying goodbye to the passive, dependent, uninspiring culture that traditional management can unintentionally foster.
Imagine a workplace where employees don’t just wait for direction but actively seek out opportunities to lead. Where leadership doesn’t become a rare skill only discovered in a management role, but a shared practice that elevates everyone. The good news? It isn’t a fairytale fantasy. It’s already a proven approach that forward-thinking companies are already embracing.
Embracing the shift
The path to LeaderShift starts with a few simple, yet transformative, practices.
- Shift your mindset: Focus on opportunity, not the obstacle
Leadership begins with perspective. When faced with challenges, resist the urge to dwell on obstacles. Instead, ask yourself: “What solution could I bring to the table?” Viewing problems as opportunities to step up and create value sets the stage for impactful leadership. It can also set you apart from needing that extra level of management, establishing the parent-child trap. - Pick a champion: Share your vision
Even the most driven leaders need allies. Identify a mentor, manager or colleague who can support your growth and amplify your ideas. Share your vision with them and enlist their guidance to navigate complex dynamics. - Seek feedback: Constructive comments will fuel growth
Leadership is a journey, not a destination. Along the way, seek feedback from those around you. Constructive comments can illuminate blind spots, strengthen your skills and boost your confidence. Asking for feedback promotes a much healthier culture and allows both the giver and receiver to be less stressed by it. Remember, feedback (when delivered safely) isn’t a criticism, it’s a gift that helps you grow. - Stay adaptable: Flexibility is key
The most successful teams are adaptable. In today’s fast-paced environment, the ability to pivot in response to change isn’t just an advantage, it’s a necessity. Encourage colleagues to embrace change with an open mind and a willingness to adjust their approach as needed. - Empower others: Create space for others to lead
True leadership isn’t about being the loudest or most dominant voice in the room. To be honest, leaders don’t need to have the correct answer but they should lead a team that feels safe to speak up, to challenge and to share ideas. Encourage your teammates to take ownership of their work, make decisions and lead from their own spaces. Empowered teams are motivated teams and motivation drives results.
It begins with YOU!
At its core, LeaderShift is about one thing: leading yourself. Before you can influence others, you need to take ownership of your actions, attitudes and goals. This self-leadership builds credibility, fosters trust and inspires those around you to rise to the occasion. When employees embrace LeaderShift, they don’t just perform tasks, they contribute to a shared vision. They bring ideas to the table, support their colleagues and take the initiative that drives the company culture forward. This environment of mutual respect and accountability doesn’t just benefit employees. It’s a game-changer for businesses, too.
The business case for LeaderShift
Teams that embrace LeaderShift reap the benefits. From the company departments that I have mentored, the results are in. Employees feel empowered, making them more engaged and leading to higher productivity. A happier employee equals lower turnover rates. Teams that operate in adult-to-adult dynamics are more collaborative, innovative and resilient in the face of challenges. And perhaps most importantly, LeaderShift creates a pipeline of future-ready leaders who can guide the company through periods of growth and transformation.
In its simplicity. Leadership isn’t about holding a title. It’s about stepping up with purpose and influencing others to do the same.
The call
The time for LeaderShift is now. In a world that demands agility, creativity and collaboration, we can’t afford to cling to outdated notions of leadership. Whether you’re a CEO charting the future of your organisation or an entry-level employee looking to make your impact, the principles of LeaderShift can help you rise to the occasion.
Leadership should not be reserved for the few. It’s a practice anyone can adopt. So, the next time you face a challenge at work, ask yourself: “How can I lead on this?” The answer may surprise you and inspire those around you. After all, when we lead together, we succeed together.
