There is no way for leaders to avoid conflict in any high-stakes business environment. It’s important to address conflict, resolve issues and turn around failing projects. George Kohlrieser, Author of Hostage at the Table, and Distinguished Professor of Leadership and Organisational Behaviour at the International Institute for Management Development, outlines how leaders can engage in constructive dialogue and refocus the team on shared goals.
Conflict is inevitable in any high-stakes business environment, and as a leader, there is no way to avoid it. Instead, bring it into the open – what I call ‘putting the fish on the table’. This concept serves as a metaphor for the critical leadership skill of addressing conflict, resolving issues and turning around failing projects. When a project is off track, ignoring the conflict only allows the problem to fester, much like a ‘fish left under the table’ begins to rot. A leader must address these tensions, engage in constructive dialogue and refocus the team on shared goals. Here are some areas to keep in mind:
- Recognising when a project is being held hostage
Projects fail for many reasons, including poor communication, misaligned goals, shifting priorities or resistance to change. Teams often become metaphorical hostages to unresolved conflicts, tensions, disagreements or entrenched positions. Just as a hostage negotiator must first understand the situation they are dealing with, you must ask yourself these questions:
• What is holding this project hostage?
• Are team members caught in a cycle of blame, disagreement or avoidance?
• Is there a lack of ownership and accountability?
People can become ‘emotional hostages’ to negative experiences, fear, anger or past failures. These psychological states prevent the team from embracing change or working collaboratively toward solutions. The first step in turning around a failing project is identifying this mindset and emotional barriers. - Creating a secure base: Leadership that unlocks potential High performing leaders do not lead through fear and control – they strive to be a secure base that provides psychological safety. In project leadership, as in hostage negotiations, establishing trust and emotional connection is the foundation for resolution. As a secure base leader, you provide: A vision of success that inspires people beyond their immediate frustrations Empowerment rather than micromanagement An environment of trust, where risks and mistakes can be discussed openly A failing project often triggers a blame culture, where fear of criticism prevents honest conversations. You can counteract this by fostering psychological safety, where individuals feel secure enough to challenge assumptions, admit mistakes, explore alternative solutions and accept feedback. When you build a secure base, you create resilience. Resilient teams don’t see obstacles as threats – they see them as challenges to overcome.
- The power of dialogue: Unlocking stalemates through conversation Dialogue is more powerful than commands in conflict resolution. You must master the skill of difficult conversations – where concerns are aired honestly, without escalating into confrontation or blame. To do this effectively, you: Acknowledge emotions – Conflicts always involve emotions and ignoring them can intensify resistance. Acknowledge frustrations and listen actively Use questions to create dialogue – Instead of blaming or dictating solutions, you ask questions like, “What do you see as the biggest obstacle right now?” or “What would help you feel more engaged in this project?” Find the underlying need – Many conflicts are not about the stated problem but about deeper concerns like recognition, respect or fear of failure Research from conflict management studies shows that when people feel heard, they become more open to problem-solving. In hostage negotiations, the simple act of listening and understanding can de-escalate a crisis. Honest dialogue can re-engage a disengaged team.
- ‘Put the fish on the table’: Addressing conflict head-on The Sicilian fishermen who inspired my metaphor ‘put the fish on the table’, to clean and prepare them for a great fish dinner. The same is true for conflict in organisations. If a failing project is to be saved, the issues must be put on the table – clearly, directly and constructively. Some things to keep in mind: Call the problem what it is – If deadlines are being missed because teams are not aligned, you say so. If people are disengaged, you address it. Pretending everything is fine only deepens the problem Frame conflict as a shared challenge – Conflict should never be about ‘us vs. them’, but rather “How do we fix this together?” Hold people accountable with respect by addressing underperformance without personal attacks. Accountability should empower, not punish Make it a learning opportunity – Every conflict holds valuable lessons. What can be done differently next time? ‘Putting the fish on the table’ means no sugar-coating. While it can be uncomfortable and requires courage to openly face disagreements and underperformance, it is the best way to move forward.
- The role of reciprocity: Give first to get cooperation One of the most effective tactics in hostage negotiations is rewarding concessions as an example of the law of reciprocity. When we extend goodwill, listen and show respect, others are more likely to respond in kind. In the context of a failing project, this means: Acknowledging others’ contributions before pointing out flaws Offering a concession to build trust—e.g., “I understand your workload is heavy. What can we shift to make this work?” Recognising and celebrating small wins to rebuild morale A leader’s mindset is contagious. If you are defensive and combative, the team will mirror that behaviour. If you approach conflict with curiosity and openness, the team is more likely to follow.
- Rebuilding commitment: Setting a new course Once conflict is addressed, a failing project needs renewed momentum. You must: Clarify expectations and re-establish alignment. What does success look like? Who is responsible for what? Set short-term wins to rebuild morale. Quick, achievable goals create a sense of progress Strengthen team bonds. Unsolved conflicts weaken trust; you can actively rebuild it through positive interactions Maintain open communication. Regular check-ins prevent problems from festering Effective leadership is about using conflict as a catalyst for growth. You can engage in difficult conversations by learning to effectively ‘put the fish on the table’ for the reward at the end – the trust, collaboration and innovation that emerge when challenges are addressed head-on.
Conclusion: Lead with courage, not fear
Addressing conflict requires caring and daring leadership. Caring is expressed by empathy, interest in the other and understanding their desires. Daring calls for the courage to put the fish on the table even when the conversation is uncomfortable and difficult. Leadership means fostering open dialogue, facing difficult issues and embracing conflict with empathy and strength to guide your team to meaningful solutions.
Conflict can be constructive when managed with care and boldness. It is an opportunity. By balancing the fearless mindset of a hostage negotiator with the emotional intelligence of a high-performance leader, you can transform conflict into shared problem solving.
The question is: Do you have the courage to put the fish on the table?
